This girl just put 75 cents of gas in at pump 2.
Where the fuck she going? Pump 3?
There is absolutely no excuse for laziness.
But if you find one, let me know.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday.
Hi, I finished my free trial of adulthood and I'm no longer interested
so I would like to cancel my subscription.
I have the bucketlist of a much wealthier person.
I need a hug and six months of sleep.
You remind me of a software update.
Whenever I see you, I usually think 'not now'.
Sorry, I haven't texted you in a while.
Haven't been drunk.
When I said I was open to new ideas, I meant my ideas.
Last year I was single.
This year I am singler.
Next year I'll be singlest.
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