Shortest horror story ever: sold out
When I get a headache I take two aspirins and keep away from children, just like it says on the packaging.
Smile at people who hate you.
I hate it when a shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.
Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
Sometimes I drink water, just to surprise my liver.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me!
Every master was once a beginner.
I like hashtags, because they look like waffles.
Nap time is my happy hour.
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