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People say nothing is impossible,

but I do nothing every day.

Don't put your business on Facebook and the tell us to mind our own business.

Bitch, I'm on season 4 episode 7 of your bullshit.

You remind me of a software update.

Whenever I see you, I usually think 'not now!'.

  

Insecurity kills more dreams than failure ever will.

  

Some people add you on Facebook. Don't like nothing.

Don't say nothing. Just sitting there watching like a perv in een white van.

  

Sorry, I missed your call.

I was staring at it wondering why you couldn't just text me.

  

Marriage.

Because your shitty day doesn't have to end at work.

  

I rolled my eyes so hard,

I checked my own ass.

  

A partner would be nice, but I'm already in a relationship

with alcohol and poor decissions.

  

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.